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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven for daily publications, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to learn that an online journalist Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach following a short conversation within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|